If I could find you now, things would get better. We could leave this town and run forever.

                          
    Every one has hopes. Every one has dreams. Every one has a reality. Unfortunately, the reality, our hopes, and our dreams can be very different. I consider myself a dreamer. I have faith in people who don't deserve it. I treat people as nicely as I can even when they don't. You would hope that my karma was well enough that I would be truly happy. But, I'm not. Earlier this week, Kaitlin and Giselle were concerned about me doing a fast for a week to lose weight. One thing led to another and at the end of the day, they persuaded me to not do it. They may be thinking to themselves "Good, we fixed the problem." But they're wrong. Me not doing the fast doesn't change how I feel at all. Now, I think I'm more hopeless than I was before. I want to be thin so badly. But I love my friends. And I wouldn't want to make them upset.
     Lately, so many things have been changing. I don't have a place to call my "home" and quite honestly I think my family is falling apart at its seams. I wish I could go back in time. A time when my mom had money, my brothers and sister were all healthy and happy, and my grandmother was not sick. But its not like that anymore. My brothers are scattered everywhere and my grandmother isn't who she used to be. Whenever I used to get upset, My older brother, Fred, would come into my room, talk to me and give me a big hug. Now that he's gone, I feel like I have nothing. My oldest brother lives a good 200 miles away and the youngest one I rarely see. The only sibling I constantly see is my little sister, who is only 1. Being away from Fred has been the worst. As a child, I looked up to him. And now, he's changed. Sometimes I like to think that he's at home and I'll see him soon. But I won't . I was listening to Yellowcard a couple of days ago and one of the lyrics kinda hit me: " When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by, I can make believe that your here tonight."
     Dreaming gets everyone by. I like to think that dreaming helps us cope with our realities, whatever that may be for each of us. Dreaming keeps our hopes alive as well, giving them motivation to become our realities. In the end, I'm glad that I'm a dreamer.