She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers.

Today, I heard a fact that I pray isn't true; that by the age of two, the framework of our personality is molded. I know for damn sure that I was not shy and awkward when I was two. We always hear about these girls who are ugly ducklings and then grow up to be swans. Or the girl that was shy in middle school but is now the most popular and sought after girl in high school. What pisses me off is simply that I'm not either one of those girls. I was really shy in middle school. Now that I'm in high school, I consider myself not-shy-but-not-outgoing (aka AWKWARD AS HELL). I think I'm really more like "that-girl-who-always-talks-but-no-one-listens." I hate that....sometimes, my friends (who I know don't do it on purpose) ignore me when I speak. I want to be more outgoing. In fact, every summer for the past three years, I've been telling my friend Kaitlin that I want to become more outgoing. She then reminds me that i said that last year and nothings changed. I want to speak and be heard. I want to walk down the hall and someone notice me. I want people to come up to me and talk to me, not vice versa. I want to be so happy being myself that I don't even think about being someone else. I hope things change quick.