Breakaway

     What's one of your favorite song? No, not a song you've heard many times and know the lyrics to. I mean, a song that you feel so strongly about you can talk about it for hours. There are probably five songs that make me feel this way. One of them being "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson.
      After High School, I don't want to stay in my town. I want to move. Most likely, out of state. At one point in my life, I dream of living in White Plains, New York. This, of course, means I will eventually have to breakaway from my family and friends. Its something I've been thinking about for years.
     Wanted to belong here/But something felt so wrong here-When I picture my dream life, my hometown isn't part of it. As much as it sounds nice for my children (feels crazy thinking about that) to be raised in the same area as me, its just not possible. I think I've had one too many bad memories in this town. I feel like if I stay here, I'm settling for less. Even the hospital here doesn't look like one I would like to work in one day as a doctor. I feel as if, there's something bigger waiting for me.
     I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly/ I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky- As mentioned before, I really want to become a doctor. It's always been my dream. And yes, I'd do anything to reach it. Even if that means leaving those I love behind. Part of me is excited for graduation because it means I'm one step closer to becoming a doctor. Another part is scared because it means splitting up with my friends and leaving home and entering the world alone. To think its only two years away makes me anxious.
     I guess life is about breaking away. Even though I'm kind of scared. I know what it brings me to my dreams and in the end, that's all that matters.

Marble Hornets and Hopes for Summer

     This past Saturday, I, along with Kaitlin, went to Stan's birthday party. Long story short, someone thought it was a bright idea to watch these videos on YouTube called "Marble Hornets." The videos are about this kid named J (or Jay) who has these tapes of this kid named Alex who disappeared after being stressed out from filming a student movie. All of the videos show a bizarre figure (Slender Man) appearing everywhere Alex goes and he becomes paranoid. The deeper into the series (I got up to Entry #28), the more bizarre it gets. Personally, I don't think its real. Its way too freaky to be real. J keeps saying that he wants to quit yet he keeps going back to the abandoned house where Slender Man attacked him before. Towards the end, Stan even thought it was a good idea to sneak up behind me dressed as Slender Man, which scared the living daylights out of me. I really want to finish up those entries. (there's like 20 more) Apparently, its ongoing so they keep uploading more videos. Stan advised me not to watch them by myself, but its summer and I don't have anyone to watch them with. I had a great time at the party. That and the picnic the day before were some of the rare occurrences of "fun" in my life. This summer feels different. I don't know what but think it will be a nice change.I hope it will be.

I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of ... gunpowder and lead!

     I love my mom. She's the greatest. She may not come off as that strong, but she is. If you know me, you know that I rarely mention my father, if at all. It sounds stupid, but I don't consider him to be my father. No, I don't believe I was created by Immaculate Conception. I have a biological father. Emotionally, no. A REAL father is there for his kids and loves them and treats their mother with respect. My father did none of these. He abused my mother. I always knew there was bad blood between my mother and father. Whenever I mentioned him, she'd always get pissed and I wouldn't know why. Do I know what he did specifically did to her, no. But something happened. Maybe it was the needle that broke the camel's back. Something bad enough that made a woman like my mother pick up her things, grab her 3 boys and a newly born me and move across the country. My mom couldn't bring anything with her. All of my baby photos and even mine and my brother's birth certificates were left at the house.  I hate to think what it's like to be with an abusive man. It scared me to death. Knowing your worst enemy and best friend is the same person. Having to sleep next to them and constantly be in each others presence. I used to get scared and think what it would be like having an abusive parent. Living in a state where fear is your best friend.
     This song makes me think what I would do if I were in a bad relationship. I see why abused wives kill their husbands. They become sick of it and think there's no way out. My mom always told me, any girl who wants to be equal with men has no ambitions. Mr Steinbeck re-iterated that for me this past year. I don't need a man to be happy and successful. Yes, I do believe that women are better than men. I guess that is why females live longer than men and we are giving the laborious task of carrying children. If we let men do that, there would be no human race.

I'm glad you came too

    This song is my guilty pleasure. Even though I don't usually like any boy band (more like group) other than *NSYNC and Backstreet Boys, I kinda like The Wanted. The lyrics are kinda stupid (every time he says "My universe will never be the same" I always think he's saying "My uni-brow will never be the same") and it sounds like every other song on the radio, but these guys are pretty damn hot! And they have accents!

Justin Bieber wants to be my boyfriend? I think I'll pass!

Wow! Puberty has hit Justin Bieber. When I first heard this, I was surprised that it was him. Nevertheless, its still Justin Bieber and I still hate the song. What the hell does "Swag Swag on you" mean? If its anything like what I'm thinking, I would deem this song inappropriate for children. Who would want to eat fondue next to a fire? So he wants me to burn my tongue and then my hand? Ummmm... I don't think so! Next!

Call Me Maybe-Not!!!

I loathe this song, so I'm gonna blog about it. I saw the video for it and I was repulsed by most of it. Who the hell enjoys that crap?
I couldn't help but notice:

• How old is this b***h? She sounds like shes my age but can pass for 30.
• There is no way a band is really playing. I hear no guitars! Just Autotune and a synthesizer.
• Who washes their car in high heels? 
• I can notice a hot guy from the next but dear Lord, its not worth fainting.
• The girl's face at the end was priceless. 

Hot Problems?

 This made me laugh...bad singing and horrible lyrics.... I can think of about 20 girls who would agree with the lyrics.